


Hey Asshoole (The Text Fic)

by Lo_and_behold



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, his stage name is jinho wtf??, text fic, theyre the Gays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2019-07-28 09:25:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16238786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lo_and_behold/pseuds/Lo_and_behold
Summary: A look into the lives of Jinh-oppa and Wooseokie via their incredulous text messages. Inspired by texts on the internet, real-life conversations, and imagine your otp posts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first text was a typo but it was so funny and Wooseok-esque I decided to keep it

Wooseokie: hey asshoole

 

Jinh-oppa: what is it

 

Wooseokie: lets watch shark boy n lava girl

 

Jinh-oppa: im down

 

Wooseokie: and make out during the scary parts

 

Jinh-oppa: th

 

Jinh-oppa: the scary parts

 

Jinh-oppa: of shark boy and lava girl


	2. Chapter 2

Jinh-oppa: wooseokah im dead tired

 

Jinh-oppa: i just got off work and i just want to fall in your arms and sleep like they do in movies

 

Wooseokie: sleep isnt good for you

 

Jinh-oppa: but you are

 

Wooseokie: o fuck

 

Wooseokie: did you just shave?

 

Wooseokie: cause youre smooth af


	3. Chapter 3

Wooseokie: hey

 

Jinh-oppa: whats up

 

Wooseokie: were you wearing one of my shirts today

 

Jinh-oppa: uh no?? what makes you think that??

 

Wooseokie: my torso is 3x as long as yours and the shirt you wore to work looked like a dress

 

Jinh-oppa: fuck off wooseok 


	4. Chapter 4

Wooseokie: yo i heard shinwon is in the hospital what happened

Jinh-oppa: he got stung by some bees but hes ok. they injected him with the epic penis so hes recovering well.

Wooseokie: lol whats an epic penis that sounds fun

Jinh-oppa: E P I P E N

Wooseokie: hmph 

Wooseokie: epic penis still sounds better to me


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update bc I forgot to update yesterday so H A

Wooseokie: jinho am i your friend?

Jinh-oppa: of course!

Wooseokie: but am i really??

Jinh-oppa: youre all that and more

Wooseokie: more?

Wooseokie: like

Wooseokie: mega best friends or sum?

Jinh-oppa: youre my boyfriend you dunce


	6. Chapter 6

Jinh-oppa: hey wooseok

Wooseokie: wut

Jinh-oppa: guess what

Wooseokie: wut

Jinh-oppa: ily

Wooseokie: lol gay


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another double update because i keep forgetting

Wooseokie: jinho

 

Wooseokie: jinho

 

Wooseokie: jinho

 

Wooseokie: jinho

 

Jinh-oppa: WHAT

 

Wooseokie: be mine

 

Jinh-oppa: you already are

 

Wooseokie: forever

 

Jinh-oppa: so what youre saying is you wanna get married?

 

Wooseokie: yes

 

Jinh-oppa: WOOSEOK


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GuEsS wHo KeEpS fOrGeTtInG tO uPdAtE

Jinh-oppa: wooseokah where is my last pudding

 

Wooseokie: in my mouth

 

Jinh-oppa: bitch why

 

Wooseokie: because i wanted it

 

Jinh-oppa: babe

 

Wooseokie: block me then


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha....

Wooseokie: im gonna kill myself

 

Jinh-oppa: jung wooseok what the fuck did you just say

 

Wooseokie: finna commit

 

Jinh-oppa: i should beat some sense into you

 

Wooseokie: beat me oppa

 

Jinh-oppa: chiLD


	10. Chapter 10

Wooseokie: hy bb

 

Jinh-oppa: what

 

Wooseokie: yr so prety 

 

Jinh-oppa: jung wooseok are you drunk

 

Wooseokie: uhm

 

Wooseokie: false?

 

Jinh-oppa: this isnt a true or false test

 

Jinh-oppa: fess up. youre drunk.

 

Wooseokie: im mmnot thatdurnk

 

Jinh-oppa: where are you??

 

Wooseokie: up ur ass n 2 the left

 

Wooseokie: lol

 

Jinh-oppa: please come home. im worried about you.

 

Jinh-oppa: i love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pop quiz: What American TV show did I reference?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a conversation after I worked out today

Wooseokie: just got back from the gym

 

Jinh-oppa: fun. how was it?

 

Wooseokie: so

 

Wooseokie: I did 150 on the back press

 

Jinh-oppa: isnt that how much you actually weigh

 

Jinh-oppa: strong bitch


	12. Chapter 12

Wooseokie: knock knock

 

Jinh-oppa: whos there

 

Wooseokie: open your heart please

 

Jinh-oppa: my love is for you

 

Wooseokie: knock knock

 

Wooseokie: im not a bad boy

 

Jinh-oppa: wooseok you literally cried during sharkboy and lava girl

 

Jinh-oppa: wait are these lyrics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan BigFlo ;)


	13. Chapter 13

Jinh-oppa: i wanna go out to dinner tonight. just yuo and i

 

Wooseokie: i would love to go to dinner with yuo

 

Jinh-oppa: wow way to make me feel loved

 

Jinh-oppa: im filing for divorce

 

Wooseokie: waIT WHAt


	14. Chapter 14

Jinh-oppa: cute date ideas

 

Jinh-oppa: wait this isn’t google


	15. Chapter 15

Jinh-oppa: theres lots of stuff on my bed

 

Jinh-oppa: mainly stuffed animals

 

Wooseokie: i should be on your bed

 

Jinh-oppa: o shit


	16. Chapter 16

Jinh-oppa: i might be late coming home from work tomorrow

 

Wooseokie: ?

 

Jinh-oppa: i have to do a porno

 

Wooseokie: without me? ;(

 

Jinh-oppa: PROMO

 

Jinh-oppa: P r o m o i have to do a promo at work!

 

Wooseokie: mhm


	17. Chapter 17

Jinh-oppa: hey what the FUCK is in the living room

 

Wooseokie: lol maybe its a cat

 

Jinh-oppa: who gave you permission to do that

 

Wooseokie: the shelter was about to put her down

 

Wooseokie: please jinho???

 

Jinh-oppa: ….

 

Jinh-oppa: fine. but only because i love you

 

Wooseokie: !!!!


	18. Chapter 18

Wooseokie: i miss holding your hand

 

Jinh-oppa: aw

 

Wooseokie: theyre cute and small

 

Jinh-oppa: dont forget stubby

 

Wooseokie: shush your mouth

 

Jinh-oppa: whatever lol


	19. Chapter 19

Wooseokie: happy halloween <3

 

Jinh-oppa: the only reason i like halloween is the witches brew

 

Wooseokie: o

 

Wooseokie: at work we dressed up today

 

Jinh-oppa: im at the store. want anything?

 

Wooseokie: are you not gonna ask what i dressed up as?

 

Jinh-oppa: fine. 

 

Jinh-oppa: what did you dress up as?

 

Wooseokie: harry potter lol

 

Jinh-oppa: cute. what do you want?

 

Wooseokie: i wanna try your beloved witches brew

 

Jinh-oppa: then well need 2 bottles. got it. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I was at my grandma's house and didn't have my computer oops

Wooseokie: you havent texted me in like 2 days

 

Jinh-oppa: been at my grandmas house in the middle of nowhere

 

Wooseokie: absolutely no excuse

 

Jinh-oppa: wow ok ill just not text you for another 2 days


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHATS UP UGLIES

Wooseokie: hey ho

 

Jinh-oppa: hello**

 

Wooseokie: hello ho

 

Jinh-oppa: youre hopeless


	22. Chapter 22

Wooseokie: this is how i walk into my house

 

Jinh-oppa: ???

 

Wooseokie: wHaTs Up FuCkErS

 

Jinh-oppa: what is wrong with you

 

Wooseokie: fUcK yOu ThAtS wHy


	23. Chapter 23

Wooseokie: i just shaved my eyebrows off

 

Jinh-oppa: the fuck are you so impulsive for

 

Wooseokie: are you not gonna ask if im ok?

 

Wooseokie: or bleeding?

 

Jinh-oppa: my dear impulsive boyfriend 

 

Jinh-oppa: are you bleeding?

 

Wooseokie: ...no

 

Jinh-oppa: then quit being so impulsive 


	24. Chapter 24

Wooseokie: wassup 

Jinh-oppa: nm 

Wooseokie: cool so I just spent $300 on a new tv???

Jinh-oppa: we cant even afford that what is wrong with you 

Wooseokie: we need one!


	25. Chapter 25

Wooseokie: i wanna suck ur dick

 

Jinh-oppa: ok????

 

Wooseokie: but

 

Wooseokie: i wanna make u breakfast and love u

 

Wooseokie: ur so short i could just 

 

Wooseokie: wrap u up

 

Jinh-oppa: youre so tall i could take out your knee caps


	26. Chapter 26

Jinh-oppa: Image attached 

 

Wooseokie: i can't see it

 

Jinh-oppa: let me try again

 

Jinh-oppa: Image attached

 

Wooseokie: just tell me what youre trying to send 

 

Jinh-oppa: Image atached 

 

Wooseokie: you spelled attached wrong loser 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

Wooseokie: i want to be 5 again

 

Jinh-oppa: ????

 

Jinh-oppa: youd literally have to grow up all over again???

 

Wooseokie: yeah but its the simple things in life

 

Jinh-oppa: like shitting yourself?

 

Wooseokie: have you ever met a 5 year old


	28. Chapter 28

Wooseokie: hey whats up

 

Jinh-oppa: at shinwons 

 

Wooseokie: im doing fireball shots with hyojong


	29. Chapter 29

Jinh-oppa: mufasas death made me cry again ;(

 

Wooseokie: poor bb

 

Wooseokie: at least hes not a real horse

 

Jinh-oppa: h

 

Jinh-oppa: horse?

 

Jinh-oppa: hes a LION

 

Wooseokie: in my defense ive never seen it

 

Jinh-oppa: its called the L I O N K I N G wooseok

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all really letting me flop so hard


	30. Chapter 30

Jinh-oppa: i can hear you in the other room

 

Jinh-oppa: laughing with shinwon

 

Wooseokie: hes funny?

 

JInh-oppa: im funny


	31. Chapter 31

Wooseokie: just had a smoothie

 

Jinh-oppa: think ill make one

 

Wooseokie: with??

 

Jinh-oppa: all the frozen stuff

 

Wooseokie: even the corn??


	32. Chapter 32

Wooseokie: did you sit in some sugar

 

Jinh-oppa: im standing up

 

Wooseokie: cause you have a sweet ass

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

Jinh-oppa: wooseokah

 

Jinh-oppa: say something stupid 

 

Jinh-oppa: im with yuto and he wants to see the full prowess of your stupidity

 

Wooseokie: ;(((

 

Wooseokie: what is prowess

 

Jinh-oppa: he thought that was hilarious 

 

Wooseokie: im offended you think i say stupid stuff


	34. Chapter 34

Wooseokie: ;(

 

Jinh-oppa: who hurt you? who do i have to murder?

 

Jinh-oppa: ill bring poptarts after 

 

Wooseokie: i dropped my ice cream

 

Jinh-oppa: i


	35. Chapter 35

Wooseokie: i feel like my fbi agent knows i know you 

 

Jinh-oppa: how?

 

Wooseokie: bc i see so many [pink sweaters](https://kprofiles.com/pentagon-members-profile/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to kprofiles, Jinho likes pink sweaters <3


	36. Chapter 36

Jinh-oppa: i watched marley n me and cried

 

Wooseokie: baby

 

Jinh-oppa: yes?

 

Wooseokie: no i was calling you a baby

 

Wooseokie: insulting you


	37. Chapter 37

Wooseokie: greetings from my uhhhhh doctors office

 

Jinh-oppa: why are you there?

 

Wooseokie: check up 

 

Wooseokie: hope he gives me a sucker when im done 


	38. Chapter 38

Wooseokie: who wants to annihilate me on the spot

Jinh-oppa: ??

Wooseokie: fucking HYUNGGU just ate the last yogurt 

 

Jinh-oppa: ...arent you at his house?


	39. Chapter 39

Wooseokie: happy Easter fuck

Jinh-oppa: happy easter to you too

Jinh-oppa: now come home before i eat all the candy 

Wooseokie: s a v e t h e f u c k i n g RUNTS


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall. I'm trying to write as much as I can, but I'm gonna be super busy until I graduate (little under a year) because I'm taking a college class right now and as soon as it ends another one starts. As soon as that one ends, my senior year of high school starts, in addition to three more college classes (one is year round) and the rest of my high school classes. I'll try my best though! Thank you for being patient with me!

Jinh-oppa: jung wooseok text me back this instant 

Wooseokie: sry im at hyunggus bc car broke down

Jinh-oppa: are you ok???????

Wooseokie: yeah hes keeping me cool w ac

Jinh-oppa: do you want me to pick you up?

Wooseokie: no he has nerds


	41. Chapter 41

Wooseokie: CREEPER

Jinh-oppa: ???

Wooseokie: AW MAN

Jinh-oppa: how do you capitalize a question mark

Wooseokie:  SO WE BACK IN THE MINE 

Wooseokie: GOT OUR PICK AXE SWINGING FROM SIDE TO SIDE

Wooseokie: SIDE SIDE TO SIDE

Jinh-oppa: what are you on about 

Wooseokie: THIS TASK A GRUELING ONE

(Message failed to deliver)

Wooseokie: jinho did you block me 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my shiny new twitter @ minyoonji_jpeg


End file.
